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Dear Snarfblat,
As A proud member of the SPCH (Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Hicks) I'm both
shocked and outraged, your product only perpetuates a long standing American myth. Hicks,
Rednecks, Slackjawed, or Back Woods Persons (as we prefer) are not just gun touting,
tobacco smoking idiots but, real people with real feelings. Shame on you Snarfblat.
Sincerely,
Mable Googins
Appleton, WI
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Dear Mabes,
Mable, what if we told you all profits after taxes from "Deer's Revenge" are going
to the American Hick Defense Fund.
Ha! How about that! Of course we just made it up and can assure you that
all profits will go directly into our POCKETS! HA!
Love,
Your friends at Snarfblat
Dear Snarfblat,
I can not believe you guys made that game, Deer's Revenge. What do you think gives you
the right to pick on poor hicks like that. I saw you were beaning them off the head with
beer cans, firing at them with nets, even electrifying them with some kind of stun gun.
Don't they have cops in your town to stop you from doing this?!?! You are one SICK,
mentally twisted bunch of guys!!!I think you should check with your hospital, they may
have developed some treatment for you other than electric shock therapy, you perverted
freak!! If you don't get treatment, I hope you fall down a manhole cover, causing a large
head wound and then bleed to death, you demented, crack smoking pukeface!!
P.S. I'm canceling my subscription to your magazine.
Sincerely,
Jfallwell@holierthanthou.org
Dear Jfallwell,
Thanks! This is the nicest letter we've gotten so far! Because of this, we're going to
send you some free gifts! We're sending a free copy of our latest product, now in beta,
Big Baby Seal Hunter. We're sure you'll love clubbing the heads in of baby seal
after baby seal, just like we do! It's the gift that keeps on giving. As an added bonus,
we're going to throw in one of our crack pipes!
Best wishes,
Snarfblat
P.S. We've posted a picture of your girlfriend to the right for all the world to see what a lucky man you are.
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Dear Snarfblat,
I loved your game, Deer's Revenge. I found it profoundly telling of life in the backwoods
of America. It gives me true insight into why some Americans behave in the manner that
they do. Perhaps it's just that some Americans, coming from this background, carry these
traits forth into life beyond the backwoods and into higher and higher levels of... uhhm,
nevermind. In any case my sincerest thanks for this deep and insightful psychological
profile of an important, and powerful group of Americans.
Keep it real,
KStar@subpeona.com
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Dear KStar,
Uhh Hi KStar....Uhhm, alls that we have to say to you can be summed up in Jfallwells
letter to us. As he eloquently put it, "You are one SICK, mentally twisted guy!!! I
think you should check with your hospital, they may have developed some treatment for you
other than electric shock therapy, you perverted freak!! If you don't get treatment, I
hope you fall down a manhole cover, causing a large head wound, and then bleed to death,
you demented, crack smoking pukeface!!"
Sincerely,
Snarfblat
PS. Your letter gave us an idea for a game! Here's a prototype!! (50 MB) Mortal Wedgie!
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